Rosalind Pytte (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
meetmeinthepytte) wrote2021-12-06 06:03 pm
meetmeinthepytte) wrote2021-12-06 06:03 pm
mid-EW screaming and hollering and whimpering and etc.
Fucking god damn ok.
I'm writing this after finishing Lv83 Alea Iacta Est.
I have so many thoughts about the Garlemald arc up to this point that they keep bubbling out of me in little spurts of words but I will never get all the words out because it was so good, in the way that popping a zit is good. It's horribly, unflinchingly ugly.
I was worried for a bit at the beginning, because my worry, which I think was a lot of people's worry, was that they'd bang the "Garleans are people too and it's good to give people a second chance!" drum (which is true but has a big asterisk after it because:) without following it up with "...and to make any headway, Garleans REALLY REALLY need to have that arc too, because pretty much all of this shit came from their fucked up fascist culture systematically dehumanizing non-Garleans and that shit runs deep and doesn't leave if you're not digging it out!"
But the way it's paced and the prominence of Point 1 in the absence of Point 2 for the first couple of quests makes more sense to me where I'm at now, because the non-Garleans are the people in the room and the topic of conversation at that point; the moment a citizen of Garlemald pops up, Point 2 becomes the headline and absolutely does not fucking stop.
....
Anyways what I wanted to write about here was the resonance EW has had with Rosalind's character arc so far, which Garlemald prompted because Jullus showing her his family's home and spitting about whether gods would have saved them was CRAZY fucking apt, Ros' entire reply to that blipped fully-formed into my head and I'm actually writing it up as a psuedo-fic elsewhere right now.
God. Starting with more about Garlemald arc in general because it's the most recent and most on my mind: this whole theme of fascism = death cult doesn't hit her in the same place it hits me, but it does hit her on a much more individual, interpersonal level. The culture-wide manifestation of it is newer to her, but she recognizes that basic emotional pattern of...being afraid, and insecure, and deliberately confusing fear with strength to avoid admitting your vulnerabilities, and lashing out to protect them, blaming others, the endless self-destructive loop of isolating yourself for your own protection when what you actually need is to let people in.
That's where she started. That's where she almost faltered and fell after 2.55, what Esteem had to rip out of her to show to her friends so that she could actually accept they were friends. So she could accept ALPHINAUD. Him dwelling on this so hard now is like...that was the metamorphosis moment for both of them, and it's come back around.
And it was what she had to work on to regain the Blessing of Light, she had to let herself do over her adventures but this time admitting to herself that she didn't know anything, being vulnerable in order to experience real growth.
And now you're telling me that that concept, that openness and rejection of fear, something about that is canonically what Midgardsormr put his faith in? God damn.
And after that it was like — she keeps growing in this capacity, from false confidence to genuine insecurity, then slowly accumulating a real sense of capability and responsibility, briefly tipping over too far into self-sacrifice in shb. And I'd figured that post-shb Rosalind had hit a point where she could be at peace with...the world around her, being lost in it, moving through it expecting to never be quite enough for it and being okay with that. And I'd figured that at that point that arc matures into being about...like, what she wants to put into the world, instead of increasingly more complex theories on how to respond to the pressures the world puts on her, because she's reached "student has become the master" level in a lot of things.
And that's also just canonically what EW is about? SHB is about beating the shit out of your awful grandpa and so far EW is about the dizzying realization that you are an adult now and can decide when to do the dishes.
(that's a joke)
God what else. Uhhhh oh right the Baldesion Annex inn room scene god FUCKING dammit Ishikawa I was sniffling the whole time, with a short break to turn the sound off while G'raha moaned into a burger. The parallels with the SHB Ardbert scenes were blatant, blatantly intentional, and hit like a fucking brick. From the awkward isolation of SHB to being deliberately, clumsily, joyfully reached out to. That was another big hit for Rosalind, who has always been awkward and moved too easily from prickly aggressive self-isolation to stoic gotta-be-reliable self-isolation, who only really got out of that when someone pried her out, Alphinaud in his own awkward way that left stones unturned and Lyse in an explosive merciless way that made Rosalind feel more like a person than ever but that she could never begin to replicate on her own.
Rewinding further....oh my god akasa. Shit fuck goddamn ok personal admission I stared at that text box for a few seconds and just started crying with an emotion I couldn't even ID, like some kind of awe at the idea that we know so much about this universe and how it works and we could still, in the same breath, know absolutely nothing about this universe. Also it was the Torn From the Heavens title drop, that fucked me up, I'm so fucking happy for the dev team holy fuck.
Anyways uhhh uhhhhhh I forgot what there was to say about Rosalind here. There's a big snarl of wordless feelings about Ros' religiosity and how she found it and lost it and found it again and lost it and rebuilt it and has followed her path as a monk and her journey as the Warrior of Light together to these beliefs she has now about the nature of gods and the weight of legacy and culture and shared meaning and the use of power to shape the world and what it means to be a warrior and.
Spiritual emotions granting power is definitely a thing that resonates with her.
Wheeze choke cough I'm so overwhelmed.
I'm writing this after finishing Lv83 Alea Iacta Est.
I have so many thoughts about the Garlemald arc up to this point that they keep bubbling out of me in little spurts of words but I will never get all the words out because it was so good, in the way that popping a zit is good. It's horribly, unflinchingly ugly.
I was worried for a bit at the beginning, because my worry, which I think was a lot of people's worry, was that they'd bang the "Garleans are people too and it's good to give people a second chance!" drum (which is true but has a big asterisk after it because:) without following it up with "...and to make any headway, Garleans REALLY REALLY need to have that arc too, because pretty much all of this shit came from their fucked up fascist culture systematically dehumanizing non-Garleans and that shit runs deep and doesn't leave if you're not digging it out!"
But the way it's paced and the prominence of Point 1 in the absence of Point 2 for the first couple of quests makes more sense to me where I'm at now, because the non-Garleans are the people in the room and the topic of conversation at that point; the moment a citizen of Garlemald pops up, Point 2 becomes the headline and absolutely does not fucking stop.
....
Anyways what I wanted to write about here was the resonance EW has had with Rosalind's character arc so far, which Garlemald prompted because Jullus showing her his family's home and spitting about whether gods would have saved them was CRAZY fucking apt, Ros' entire reply to that blipped fully-formed into my head and I'm actually writing it up as a psuedo-fic elsewhere right now.
God. Starting with more about Garlemald arc in general because it's the most recent and most on my mind: this whole theme of fascism = death cult doesn't hit her in the same place it hits me, but it does hit her on a much more individual, interpersonal level. The culture-wide manifestation of it is newer to her, but she recognizes that basic emotional pattern of...being afraid, and insecure, and deliberately confusing fear with strength to avoid admitting your vulnerabilities, and lashing out to protect them, blaming others, the endless self-destructive loop of isolating yourself for your own protection when what you actually need is to let people in.
That's where she started. That's where she almost faltered and fell after 2.55, what Esteem had to rip out of her to show to her friends so that she could actually accept they were friends. So she could accept ALPHINAUD. Him dwelling on this so hard now is like...that was the metamorphosis moment for both of them, and it's come back around.
And it was what she had to work on to regain the Blessing of Light, she had to let herself do over her adventures but this time admitting to herself that she didn't know anything, being vulnerable in order to experience real growth.
And now you're telling me that that concept, that openness and rejection of fear, something about that is canonically what Midgardsormr put his faith in? God damn.
And after that it was like — she keeps growing in this capacity, from false confidence to genuine insecurity, then slowly accumulating a real sense of capability and responsibility, briefly tipping over too far into self-sacrifice in shb. And I'd figured that post-shb Rosalind had hit a point where she could be at peace with...the world around her, being lost in it, moving through it expecting to never be quite enough for it and being okay with that. And I'd figured that at that point that arc matures into being about...like, what she wants to put into the world, instead of increasingly more complex theories on how to respond to the pressures the world puts on her, because she's reached "student has become the master" level in a lot of things.
And that's also just canonically what EW is about? SHB is about beating the shit out of your awful grandpa and so far EW is about the dizzying realization that you are an adult now and can decide when to do the dishes.
(that's a joke)
God what else. Uhhhh oh right the Baldesion Annex inn room scene god FUCKING dammit Ishikawa I was sniffling the whole time, with a short break to turn the sound off while G'raha moaned into a burger. The parallels with the SHB Ardbert scenes were blatant, blatantly intentional, and hit like a fucking brick. From the awkward isolation of SHB to being deliberately, clumsily, joyfully reached out to. That was another big hit for Rosalind, who has always been awkward and moved too easily from prickly aggressive self-isolation to stoic gotta-be-reliable self-isolation, who only really got out of that when someone pried her out, Alphinaud in his own awkward way that left stones unturned and Lyse in an explosive merciless way that made Rosalind feel more like a person than ever but that she could never begin to replicate on her own.
Rewinding further....oh my god akasa. Shit fuck goddamn ok personal admission I stared at that text box for a few seconds and just started crying with an emotion I couldn't even ID, like some kind of awe at the idea that we know so much about this universe and how it works and we could still, in the same breath, know absolutely nothing about this universe. Also it was the Torn From the Heavens title drop, that fucked me up, I'm so fucking happy for the dev team holy fuck.
Anyways uhhh uhhhhhh I forgot what there was to say about Rosalind here. There's a big snarl of wordless feelings about Ros' religiosity and how she found it and lost it and found it again and lost it and rebuilt it and has followed her path as a monk and her journey as the Warrior of Light together to these beliefs she has now about the nature of gods and the weight of legacy and culture and shared meaning and the use of power to shape the world and what it means to be a warrior and.
Spiritual emotions granting power is definitely a thing that resonates with her.
Wheeze choke cough I'm so overwhelmed.